Birth Order Reasearch

Erik Ruiz

August 26,2014

Mr.Ostini Period 3

Birth Order Research Essay

The Birth Order Effect

Throughout high school my sister was very involved in the FFA program, she managed to reach the highest attainable rank in the program. She used the FFA program to aid her in becoming an ag business major at the university of Cal Poly, where she is doing well and most likely will become very successful after college. Not surprisingly when I got into high school my parents pleaded me to join FFA and follow in my sister's footsteps after seeing how much the program had helped her in becoming the person she is today. However, I wouldn't budge and I refused to join FFA because I wanted to differentiate myself from my big sister and follow my own path. Interestingly enough, one of the things birth order research has found is that middle children such as I, tend to be the complete opposite of their older siblings in nearly everything they do. Based on this reason and other findings such as, being a mediator and having very strong bonds I have found the birth order research to be very accurate, in shaping our personalities and who we are as individuals.                                                                                                                                                                    One of the biggest findings in birth order research was that middle children tend to be great mediators and great compromisers. Just as the research has shown I believe my mediating ability is one of my greatest assets as a person. In my childhood, my older sister and younger sister would constantly get into arguments and skirmishes over any little disagreement. In these arguments I would always take on the role of peacemaker and try to settle out the disputes with a compromise. As a peacemaker I never took a side and remained neutral because it was more beneficial for me to remain on good terms with both my sisters. Another example of me being a mediator is in school, helping settle things out between my peers. Arguments are unnecessary, whenever my friends or classmates try to get into altercations I try to talk both parties out of it. I pride myself in being the voice of reason. Being a middle child, I had to take on the role as a mediator or take on a neutral stance because it was detrimental to me to try to argue or get into altercations with my siblings, either I was going to take a beating at the hands of my older sister or I was going to get scolded by my parents for fighting with the always innocent younger sibling. Middle children need to be the mediators in order to remain on good terms with your siblings and parents.                                                                                                                                                                 
Another social trait found in the birth order research was that middle children were extremely loyal and had intense close bonds with their friends or acquaintances. At first I thought this could not be applied to me but after some serious pondering I found the research to be very accurate on that social trait. For example, on the weekends I am never home. I'm always at a friends house having fun spending time with them and if I do come home I usually ask my parents if a couple of friends can spend the night. I exhibit this behavior because I'd much rather quality spend time with my friends than my immediate family. Another example of this behavior, is I hate losing friends and I try to have as much mutual friendships I could have with my peers. I try to be well liked and very social because at times I feel as though my friendships are all I have and I won't receive the same attention at home. As a middle child, I often feel left out at home over shadowed by my older sisters success and my needs put second to my younger sister.
The most compelling piece of evidence that proves the birth order research true is my older sister and I being polar opposites in nearly every aspect of life. My older sister has everything planned out and her whole life devoted to making lists of what she must do at a certain time. From the minute she wakes up to the minute she falls asleep my older sister has her whole day planned out for her already while when I wake up in the morning I don't even know what I'm wearing to school that day. This contrast in behavior can be explained by our parents different approaches to raising us. Our parents directed more attention to my older sister, they were stricter and much more unforgiving of her which in turn made her become a perfectionist. On the other hand my parents were lackadaisical in raising me and much more tolerable of my mistakes which allowed me to develop an easy going, relaxed personality. My sister is a very stubborn young lady, she directs all her attention to one goal she has in mind and doesn't stop until she attains it, while I'm open minded and I try to see every perspective and angle on everything I do. At times this leads to me becoming distracted, however through my own process I learn things that my sister looked over and ignored. I believe I and middle children in general differ so much from our older siblings because we're trying to show ourselves that we're better than our siblings. By carving out our own paths to success, that allows us to express our individuality by doing our own things, allows us middle children to escape that shadow of our older siblings that are cast over us from the day were born.  
From my perspective I have concluded that birth order has a lasting impact on our personality and behavior. This research can prove helpful in studying what internal and external environments shape each humans unique personality. Birth order research may also help parents in their child raising methods and show them to have the same standards and rules with each child. The eye opening revelation this research exposed to me is how emotionally distant I am from my immediate family. Being a middle child at times I do feel my needs are thrown to the back of the line and I need to confront my parents on these issues. This research has also changed my view on how good a relationship I have with my older sister and discuss with her this intense sibling rivalry I felt bubbling deep down inside of me. However. the accuracy of this research will not define me as a person and I will not let some findings tell me exactly who I am.